I Smell Like I Sound

Published on May 19, 2008 in Main. 0 Comments

I’ve been told that the personality displayed here as “tesco” isn’t really me. I’ve given this a lot of thought and in some sense, it may be accurate. I’ve always felt I’ve let my true self go on here but maybe I do actually hold back a bit in real life. I decided to confront this tesco as my original and very innocent online id, smcloud (which is also misspelled, by the way.. for similar reasons)

I made a date with him to have a drink and just bullshit over what’s going on in his head. No I’m not insane.. alright, maybe a little..

smcloud: Doesn’t surprise me that you’re late..

tesco: Traffic. I’m gonna guess you’re having the same thing as me?

smcloud: Actually, I think I’ll just have a Hoe.. with a lemon.

tesco: I gotta put on some tunes, this jukebox rules here..

smcloud: Look, I gotta try to be serious here, ya know?

tesco: Alright, alright.. but how serious can you be talking to yourself?

smcloud: Yeah, yeah, I know. Can you look at me and not the bartender for a second?

tesco: Just give me a minute.. look at that skirt..

smcloud: There’s some question as to the authenticity of the tesco / smcloud relationship. The word is that you don’t really exist 100%.. more like an uncontrolled version of myself. Not that you pose about the music you listen to or how you grew up, or even your ability to play music.. that’s all good. It’s more about how much of a man-whore you come across as and your inconsiderate attitude. How do you feel about that?

tesco: I can swear I said to give me a minute, I didn’t hear a word you just said.. and to be honest, you’re kinda looking like a dick in front of this broad. I’m putting some tunes on.

smcloud: (to the bartender) I think I need a shot.. umm.. Stoli, with a lemon. I’m sorry about my friend here..

bartender: huh?

tesco: Enough with the lemons, dude.. what the hell is wrong with you?

smcloud: Seriously, did you not hear what I said?

tesco: I heard you, but the question is up; you’re telling me that you don’t wanna talk to women and that you have patience for people? You hate them as much as I do and I think your porn collection explains the rest.

smcloud: I don’t think you get it (drinks shot, bites the lemon) what I’m trying to say is…

tesco: you do that with the lemon again? I’m smacking you.

smcloud: This is hopeless isn’t it?

tesco: Dude, I swear, she keeps cleaning the glasses over here for a reason.. ya know?

smcloud: Probably because this is where the sink is.

tesco: C’mon, we’re one of six people in this place.. how many dirty glasses can there be? Dude, the drums in this tune..

smcloud: Rules, fully.

tesco: That’s what I was gonna say.

smcloud: Listen, I think you take shit too far. You gotta try, at least try to control yourself, just a little bit alright? You’re bordering if not crossing creepy.

tesco: Yeah? Is that to say that anyone I’ve talked to hasn’t come back? Dude – again with the glasses! Hold on..

smcloud: This is exactly what I’m talking about! And yes, you’ve scared a couple away.. (to the bartender) Again, I apologize.

bartender: Are you alright?

tesco: Tell her. Go ahead, smart guy.

smcloud: I’m fine, honestly. Do you have an ashtray?

tesco: That was smooth. I’m sure that ashtray is coming back with a phone number.

smcloud: See? It’s not about that! I’ve always been fully good just knowing I can! You always need more than that. You’re fully an attention whore.

tesco: Didn’t we talk about this? I’m online -of course I’m an attention whore.

smcloud: Once again, proving me right. There’s a lot of people that would be offended by that comment.

tesco: It’s not true?

smcloud: ugh.. (to the bartender) What do I owe you, sweetheart?

tesco: A-ha! See? Pervert! That broad is half your age, grandpa!

smcloud: I’m just paying the tab, weirdo. Relax.

tesco: Whatever. Dude, I’m stayin. I’ll see you online.

smcloud: Later, you nut-bag.

Get Off My Lawn

Published on May 16, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

What age is “old”? When I was a kid, it was 34 and that was the end of life as I knew it. Of course, I’m 38 now so that didn’t pan out.. now 39 is old. Realistically, I’m 22 years away from 60.. I think we can all agree that 60 is old, right?

Okay, good.

It’s no secret how I feel about old people. My wife tells me that I could be missing out on some great stories these old might have, but ya see, that would require me talking to them.. and being close enough to their Geritol stinking selfs to hear them. Not happening. At least, it wasn’t happening until yesterday;

I was doing a boiler replacement in Manayunk (Philly). It was a major pain in the ass job, which is common of residential.. hence the reason I actually work for a commercial company.. I digress. We needed to do the boiler, the water heater and the chimney liner all in one day: those of you who don’t know, that’s a two day job, easy. The house is a common city row home; flat roof with no access, no parking and a basement made for people half the size of me. Aside from the two ladders required to get to the roof, bashing my head on every pipe in the basement, the soot on my nose and the half a block walk to my tools, the owners of this place are two old men and an old lady. They were pretty much out of the way most of the time aside from one of the men that kept with the hawk-eye while we were trying to work in the tiny basement, but dude, it stunk in there. I was fully getting a headache in that basement. I tried to spend as much time as I could on the roof with the chimney liner (getting some free rays I might add). About an hour before we were done the job I ran to the Sev to get some waters, when I got back I just pulled up on the sidewalk right in front of the house. I started cleaning up my tools as my partner finished up some piping. One of the old dudes and the old lady left, the old dude that was still there was fully keeping to himself chilling on the couch listening to talk radio. I noticed that every time I walked through to get my tools out, he was giving me the eye. At first I thought he was some kind of weirdo, then I thought he was making sure I wasn’t ripping off any of his old-people-stuff from the basement.. either way, it was getting on my nerves.

I got all my tools loaded up in the Jeep and closed the back hatch. My partner was just finishing up his clean-up as well and so started the “end of the day bullshitting after the job” routine. As we’re doing this the old dude comes outside and pulls out a smoke. I noticed that he was looking at me, then the back of my Jeep, then back at me.. I also notice his smoke isn’t lit yet. I offered him a light as he was staring at my Jeep.. he pulled out a lighter, lit his smoke and says, “Man, I loved the Damned. Such a solid band.” I have like, twenty different bands on my Jeep window, a few of them are pretty common like, the Ramones, the Cure and the Clash.. but he mentioned the Damned. It’s one thing for someone my age to mention a band like that but this fossil? I was intrigued.. I figured I’d throw him a curve, “They did some great covers as well, MC5, Stooges, Jefferson Airplane..”. Before I could finish he says, “Man, I saw the MC5, that’s how old I am! What a great band.. but my world changed after I saw the Pistols in Frisco back in ‘78.”. Now I’m talking to this dude.. he’s mentioning bands like the Humans and Can.. Dead Boys and Television.. I could’ve talked to this dude all night! I’m ready to ask this 60 year old man if he wants to go get a beer and bullshit more! ME! Crazy right?

I guess I have to come to the realization that old now could very well mean, old Punk. Maybe it’s time I lighten up a bit on the old bastards.

Yeah..

That’ll last until I have to drive somewhere today.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

  • Some Thoughts on What We Have Lost
  • On Growing Older
  • Airplanes, Gymnastics and Filipino men

I’d Write A Review

Published on March 15, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

But I suck at that. I went to see Bob Mould last night after seeing Courtney’s photostream and realizing he was touring. It was fully spur of the moment. The opening band, Halou, was absolutely amazing. You know how I am about women in music. But even more than just that, their sound is so cool, sortof like, Portishead meets Curve -and speaking of Curve; I got an email from Fluid Mercury where he told me of a project band that Toni Halliday had been involved with back in ‘95. The road manager for the band converted a demo tape to MP3 and has it posted here. You should, by all means, download the whole file. It’s absolutely amazing. I’m not just saying that because I’m insanely in love with her,  who isn’t? Look at her!

So, yeah, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’m off to read more.

Have fun, kids.

38 Is Old

Published on March 14, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

When I was a teenager I figured my life to end when I turned 34. I was really hung up on it. I claimed it had nothing to do with “Live Fast Die Young” by the Circle Jerks but now that I think about it, it could’ve easily originated there. Non the less, it means simply that I’m four years past my due date. I’m like expired milk -hence the reason for this post;

I’m spending way too much time in front of the television.

It wasn’t too long ago that I would have the TV on, turned down with music playing. Not too much further back that the TV would have music videos on, turned down with music playing. That would go on whenever I was home and awake. Not now, now I play music when I drive and watch TV when I’m home… soon I see myself only watching TV – like an old person. I gotta get to some more shows, quick. Maybe I’ll go see Bob Mould tonight at the Troc. Hmmm…

But while I’m on it, have you seen that show, “Moment of Truth” ? What the hell? How stupid do you have to be to go on that show?? Sure, if you’re both completely secure with each other and you’ve worked through any demons you might have, you could walk away with a ton of dough – of course you would never make it to the show if that were the case. Or how about that show, “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” ? Are these people really that dumb? Maybe they’re just nervous, I know I would be, then I’d feel like a complete moron when I got home and realized that the whole country thinks I couldn’t pass fifth grade. I’m serious, I just saw some Asian broad loose the game on this question:

True or False: If you were born on Easter, does your birthday always fall on a Sunday?

She LOST! Speaking of Lost, is this season driving you just as crazy as it’s driving me? It’s all over the place! Did they get saved or hell what?? And this boat? What the hell is going on?? Whatever, I gotta go, there’s a really good Law & Order, CI on right now and I think there’s a Cold Case re-run on TNT later.

(by the way, don’t forget; House tonight at 11 on USA)

Not Here. Okay, Maybe A Little

Published on March 10, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’m not gonna get anymore into the whole Rollins thing. He’s an idiot, he’s always been an idiot and I could really care less if he did up the Black Flag or not. That fact still remains that the best Black Flag was the first four years; that’s when there was the most energy, that’s when it was still new and original, that’s the Black Flag that sits in the top ten Hardcore bands. Not the Rollins era Black Flag. So whether it’s Ginn’s fault or Rollins’ fault doesn’t matter.

When you check out the history of west coast Hardcore, you will see that most of the original bands lost their edge by the mid eighties. As a matter fact, it was pretty much everywhere but New York that lost the drive they had in the early eighties. It was bound to happen I suppose. What doesn’t make sense to me is, why? Hardcore was very different than Punk. Punk always hovered over Top 40, there was such a close relation with Punk, New Wave and Mod, it was destined to be brought to the surface. Who knew it would end up this bad? None the less, Hardcore could never have made it to the radio- so while these bands went on about how they wanted their own sound, their own rebellion… they had it! Why change it? The fact is this: They did wanna be on the radio, they did wanna get paid. They wanted to be rockstars.

Honestly, TSOL became Jack Grisham for governor, Dead Kennedys became loud mouth Jello Biafra and Alternative Tentacles, Minor Threat became Discord Records, Husker Du became Bob Mould and Black Flag became Henry the Rollins. Look, success is a great thing. We all wanna taste the dough, just don’t give these anymore props than they deserve: 4 years of real good, boot stomping Hardcore. Anything after that was $$ money, money, money $$.

They were their own enemy. Hell, the best Hardcore came out of the UK anyway.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

Published on March 5, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

jerseydevil is a friend of mine in real life. We’ve been friends for like 15 or so years now. We met over a couple lines of blow, talking about music and the Punk scene (he’s a little older-school than me). Since then we’ve had a thousand discussions about current and past bands, changes in the scene etc.. very High Fidelity, music geek kinda stuff I asked him a little while back to get in on some of the discussions in here and as you may have noticed, he recently did. He left this comment last night (that’s right, comment -longest ever!) so I took it upon myself to share it with the rest of you. (like how I do that? I get a whole post out of this!)

Shudder put on, without a doubt, hallmark shows, his beautiful vocals truly can not be described. Its such a shame that many people that would feel the same way will never know? On that note we always get such a kick of the goth kids hanging out at Hot Topic. They always bring a smile to my face, Its kind of cool to see that they are still expressing themselves & don’t care what others think. However, I can’t help but wonder what exactly the “scene” is right now? I must not look out of place or that old because it never fails, some kid or kids always start talking to me for some reason or another? I’m usually checking out the toys or comics so its always very innocent, but Ilsa’s always like, its only a matter of time before some angry parent says….”hey what are you trying to pick up my kid” So I never want to ask anything about anything. It sucks that the world has come to that because I would likely think the same thing.Yes…..I do go in there if we happen to be at the mall & have no problem at all admitting that I’ve found some pretty cool camo shorts/pants there as well as comics & toys, but the music is always the same? Like My Chemical Romance & the like; I always say to myself that they would think all of that stuff was….oh, for lack of a better word lets say….SHIT, compared to the ample supply of real music that’s readily available?

I understand, its a store, I get that, but at the same time, the least they can do is show some, maybe just a fraction of respect & gratitude for that matter, for the true innovators that are the entire reason why bands such as that even exist today.

What was it like seven/eight years ago or something you started to see various media coverage of this disturbing “goth/punk” trend that is overtaking the youth of today. Like its some new thing? WTF, are you kidding me?

Back in the day, and I HATE USING THAT EXPRESSION, the scene was pretty decent sized if you knew what & where it was, but for some reason nobody other than those in it, had much interest in it in the early, mid or even late 80’s. So why all of the sudden is it attracting so much attention now? So called music, advertising, etc…etc…. I’m honestly asking; is it a fashion thing or just an anti-mainstream thing? I would honestly love to know the true reason because its certainly not the music. And I am by no means putting anybody down or insulting peoples musical tastes. It just seems very very odd to me.

But the true fact of the matter is that the scene has always revolved around music, better yet, was dictated by music. Has that somehow changed somewhere along the line? Although its an ok store & you can find some neat stuff, I makes me feel terrible that they never promote any truly unique music and these poor kids have no better place to hang out.

And what are the true mediums of today for hearing and learning about the great old-school stuff as well as the little bit by comparison of new stuff thats coming out or currently out?

There has to be other stuff besides the internet? Even college radio, which was always the prime source for great music of all kinds has taken a turn for the worst. If you are hearing Green Day or Blink 182 on a university station something is very wrong.

So you have a perspective of my generation, I’ll say that I’m in my late 30’s, but I can say without hesitation that I’m into pretty much all of the same stuff. Regardless, of what people say, you don’t really change. No, I don’t listen to hardcore everyday or take pleasure in pits any longer, but I love all the same stuff. My original Vision Gator is still one of my most prized possessions.

Truth be told, that was my introduction to all of the music that I’m into. I was this little skater rat trapped in NE Philly surrounded by South Philly Italian wanna bes. Remember, that was the Miami Vice, Iroc-Z erra. I had one other friend that was into skating and we used to get our Thrasher mags at Allied Hobbies because it was the only place that carried anything skate related back then.

And for those of you that remember, Thrasher had awesome album & band reviews. Its where I discovered Agent Orange, Front 242, Agnostic Front, Minor Threat etc…..Back then these bands were relatively unknown, but yet they would appear in these weird places like campus basements and hole in the wall bars or clubs where they could care less if you were of age or not, they just wanted your 2 or 3 dollar cover.

The only problem was at 14/15 years old, getting to many of these places was a bit difficult to say the least. The old I’m sleeping at johns house and john’s sleeping at our house tricks worked great, but the buses, trains and subways were always the big adventures even back in those days. (I don’t recommend doing this today)

However, when you finally got there, its was like a whole new world of people just like you? I was 14 when I discovered that the world was a lot bigger than my tiny NE Philly neighborhood and I never looked back.

I was just talking to my wife about this and its so interesting because I vividly remember these places being filled with skaters, punks, rude boys, skins (real skins) as well as openly gay guys/girls and I never ever recall one single serious problem, no fights or anything? Everybody just wanted to hang out and see the bands. What an indescribable atmosphere. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about. The only conclusion I can come to is that music was the one common interest that brought all of these highly diverse groups together.

If you did not stop reading this long winded post long ago, my point is that music did all of this, provided all of these wonderful memories and it just sucks that the kids as well as older people that missed out don’t have this kind of stuff anymore.

July 29 Is Fully The Day

Published on March 3, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The best day ever. My new Christmas. The day I will remember forever.

Ya see, this is the day that I will see The Police and Elvis Costello at the same show. The show in November, that didn’t include Elvis, was postponed due to Sting getting the flu and I was gonna return the very expensive tickets thinking it would never actually get rescheduled. The Comcast Center let us know that there was a rumor that the show was gonna be rescheduled for the summer with Elvis Costello supporting – I didn’t 100% believe it, but sure enough, it’s going down. And I’ll be there.

Am I getting too old to be going to shows? I mean, I see older people at concerts but not very often at shows. I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers with Mars Volta at the Wachovia last year and I felt like the oldest person there, but when I saw Pink Floyd in ‘88 I felt like I was in some kind of giant LSD laced old folks home. Demographics I suppose. I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah.. too old for shows, as in the smaller venues. Somewhere between a bar show and a stadium. I’ve been feeling too old for these shows for the past 10 years now but I can’t seem to stop going to them. I’m actually thinking about going to a show at the TLA in April. I was thinking about all the bands I’ve seen since I was kid, so many bands, so few of them were actually “concerts”. I prefer the intimacy of a show over a concert ya know? The Chili’s show was real good and there was no other way of seeing Pink Floyd… of course my first concert- Kiss with Judas Priest way back in 1979 will always be a great memory but I would say that a good 90% of the shows I saw were a great time, so many great memories. I actually compiled a list (and made it a split post for those of you who could care less), can your list compare? I think not

The best day ever. My new Christmas. The day I will remember forever.

Ya see, this is the day that I will see The Police and Elvis Costello at the same show. The show in November, that didn’t include Elvis, was postponed due to Sting getting the flu and I was gonna return the very expensive tickets thinking it would never actually get rescheduled. The Comcast Center let us know that there was a rumor that the show was gonna be rescheduled for the summer with Elvis Costello supporting – I didn’t 100% believe it, but sure enough, it’s going down. And I’ll be there.

Am I getting too old to be going to shows? I mean, I see older people at concerts but not very often at shows. I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers with Mars Volta at the Wachovia last year and I felt like the oldest person there, but when I saw Pink Floyd in ‘88 I felt like I was in some kind of giant LSD laced old folks home. Demographics I suppose. I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah.. too old for shows, as in the smaller venues. Somewhere between a bar show and a stadium. I’ve been feeling too old for these shows for the past 10 years now but I can’t seem to stop going to them. I’m actually thinking about going to a show at the TLA in April. I was thinking about all the bands I’ve seen since I was kid, so many bands, so few of them were actually “concerts”. I prefer the intimacy of a show over a concert ya know? The Chili’s show was real good and there was no other way of seeing Pink Floyd… of course my first concert- Kiss with Judas Priest way back in 1979 will always be a great memory but I would say that a good 90% of the shows I saw were a great time, so many great memories. I actually compiled a list (and made it a split post for those of you who could care less), can your list compare? I think not

The best day ever. My new Christmas. The day I will remember forever.

Ya see, this is the day that I will see The Police and Elvis Costello at the same show. The show in November, that didn’t include Elvis, was postponed due to Sting getting the flu and I was gonna return the very expensive tickets thinking it would never actually get rescheduled. The Comcast Center let us know that there was a rumor that the show was gonna be rescheduled for the summer with Elvis Costello supporting – I didn’t 100% believe it, but sure enough, it’s going down. And I’ll be there.

Am I getting too old to be going to shows? I mean, I see older people at concerts but not very often at shows. I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers with Mars Volta at the Wachovia last year and I felt like the oldest person there, but when I saw Pink Floyd in ‘88 I felt like I was in some kind of giant LSD laced old folks home. Demographics I suppose. I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah.. too old for shows, as in the smaller venues. Somewhere between a bar show and a stadium. I’ve been feeling too old for these shows for the past 10 years now but I can’t seem to stop going to them. I’m actually thinking about going to a show at the TLA in April. I was thinking about all the bands I’ve seen since I was kid, so many bands, so few of them were actually “concerts”. I prefer the intimacy of a show over a concert ya know? The Chili’s show was real good and there was no other way of seeing Pink Floyd… of course my first concert- Kiss with Judas Priest way back in 1979 will always be a great memory but I would say that a good 90% of the shows I saw were a great time, so many great memories. I actually compiled a list (and made it a split post for those of you who could care less), can your list compare? I think not

Don’t Forget Me

Published on February 29, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

A friend and I were driving to Wa last week during a job we were installing, I had Black Flag on the stereo and we got to talking about a bunch of Black Flag related shit. He mentioned that he listens to Henry Rollins’ radio show and how Henry mentioned that he is hung up on world issues now that he does not have time for music -and does not understand how anyone could even think about music at “a time like now”. What a bunch of bullshit- how the hell do you get so hung up on shit that you’re never gonna change and then say you don’t even have time for music? What is this Henry, you hell smack. I thought it was bad enough that he destroyed Black Flag but now this bullshit? Stick to political humor you douche.

As aggravating as it was to talk about that moron, it did make me realize how huge music really is. It is funny right? So here you have this crack addict, Henry Rollins, talking about how we should not give a hell about music when ironically, if we were not listening to music at the time, he would have never come up. We all can create a soundtrack to our lives, right? You can pull music files from your mind that puts you right back to that time, at least I can. It’s just so cool when I find myself falling deep into a tune that might not have any impact on me otherwise. There’s so many tunes that do this to me. They make me insane, save my sanity, make me laugh, help me cope, bring me down, chill me out, make me wanna feel, make me wanna try, make me wanna blow the stars from the sky and just keeps going on. Music is the most influential thing we will ever have. I always have it with me, you never know when a song is going to become part of the soundtrack.

Hell Henry.

What Day?

Published on February 27, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I think I’m close to having my domain back. These people make me in -sane. I’ll tell you about it later, after we talk about Built to Spill and Verbal Valentine. <–who’s this you ask? The best way to describe Don’t Mess With Texas; Verbal Assault combined with My Bloody Valentine -hence, Verbal Valentine. Honestly, check it out.

I’m not diggin the whole working late every day thing again. It’s not like I have a lot to do anymore when I’m not working but the day just gets worse as time goes on, ya know? Obviously when I first get to the job I have the most energy and enthusiasm and by around 3, 4 o’clock I’m still pretty good, not as good as 7am but good enough. By 8pm? I’m just pissed. Nothing works out well at that point and it just makes whatever I do take even longer. What am I gonna do? It’s heating work and it’s cold out -it is what it is.

Monday was one of those days. What made it worse is that the job, to all intents and purposes, was a “pop-job” (all should go well) but for some reason, everything went wrong. By the time I got on the road home it was 8:45 and I got to the job in the am at, you guessed it, 8:45 – and that was after spending an hour on the phone with a boiler rep. Long morning, even longer day. I kinda drive like a maniac, I’ll be honest, but when I have a day like Monday I just end up driving way too fast. Maybe it’s a mixture of zero patience and the need for that feeling of being home. I took the Turnpike to get maximum speed, got off the 309 exit to keep that going but ended up behind some crazy broad that obviously felt 55 was just way too fast – she opted for 35. I banged around her and punched it, my love for women stopped me from a fake cut-off or flipping her off- so I was on my way now and the road was wide open. I kept my foot pushed all the way down; the reflectors on the concrete divider passing so fast they’re almost continuous, the orange cones on the right from all the construction were popping as my headlights lit them up, the hum of the engine at 3800 rpm blended perfectly with tunes pounding out of the subs forming the perfect ambiance, for a perfect race against time. It was all good until the yellow from the reflectors and the orange of the cones were ever so rudely interrupted by the red and blue lights of the state trooper on my ass.

I could’ve killed this asshole. That stupid hat they wear – you know what I’m talking about, with that ridiculous strap that goes across the front of the chin rather than under it? “You know why I’m pulling you over, sir?” I wanted to say, “Cause you found out about that time I nailed your wife in a very uncomfortable place?” Alas, I was cool, “I guess I was moving a bit fast…” (as I handed him my license and insurance) “You doing 85 in a 45mph work zone.” I did the patented tesco-shudder: a short shudder, slightly cocky, as if I was honestly surprised and shocked that such a thing could happen- “I’ll need your registration as well, sir.” Of course I couldn’t find it. He took what I gave him anyway and went back to his “interceptor” to write my damn ticket.

All I could think about was this guy is gonna hand me my ass; probably a $500 ticket for the speeding, another buck fifty for the registration and possibly a suspension for reckless driving. Can’t he smell the heating oil on me? He sees I’m wearing coveralls and I’m sure he saw my lunch box on the seat next to me -It’s fully obvious I’m just a working dude! Why does he have to beat me up? At this hour, not smelling like alcohol it’s quite obvious I’ve been working all day… whatever, maybe he caught his wife with his dog or some shit, I don’t know – just sucks that I have to take the heat for that shit! What a bunch of pricks these cops are… For God’s sake how long do I have to sit here? I should turn on the Jeep and punch it in reverse, probably break his neck, that basta.. “Here’s your information, sir. I see you’re a working man and I’m sure you’re just in a hurry to get home, I’m gonna give you a break; I’m giving you a ticket for failure to acknowledge a traffic control device, meaning the construction speed limit sign, that’ll take the points off and bring the fine from $400 down to $100. Just take it easy on the way home and slow down. Next time I won’t be so lenient.”

I swear they do that shit to hell with me.

tescosuicide’s House

Published on February 6, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

As much as some of you may not believe this, not excluding my wife, I do love my kids. But I think any parent can dig what I mean when I’m happy about the time they go to bed. 8:30 is the time they’re supposed to go up but very rarely does that actually happen… it’s usually around 9 or so before they actually go up -and they always find a reason to come back down. The other night was no different; the oldest comes down around 10 o’clock with the youngest right behind him. Usually they go right to my wife because they know that nothing they can say to me will be a good reason to be downstairs at 10 -this time they came right to me:
oldest: Dad, our TV just went to a black screen with little letters on it and classical music started playing!
tesco: I know this sounds crazy, but isn’t it 10:00?
oldest: (unphased by my question) I checked every channel, it’s all the same…
tesco: What the hell are you talking about?
oldest: Dude, you have to see it! Come up!
I closed all my emails, cleared my history (just to be safe) and went upstairs with the boys. Sure enough, the kid was right. The screen had what appeared to be DOS commands on it while Mozart was playing through the speakers. I went through the channels and nothing changed. I switched to “video” and blue-screen came up.
tesco: well, I guess you’re gonna be sleeping to classical music
youngest: We better sleep downstairs
oldest: We can’t, it’s a school night -dad, what are you gonna do? We need TV to sleep!
tesco: Are you serious? (suddenly sounding very old) I never had a damn TV in my room and even if I did, it wouldn’t be on at night!
oldest: …
youngest: …
oldest: Can we use your TV?
tesco: What? Did you hear what I just said? I can’t believe this is an issue!
youngest: Dad, we need TV to sleep.
That’s when it dawned on me, they do need TV to sleep and it’s all our fault! They’ve had a TV in their room since they were babies simply because neither my wife, nor I did. Now I have to come up with something if I expect them to sleep! I quickly grabbed my DVD player from my room, hooked it up, grabbed a DVD from their collection and within a half hour, they were asleep.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because due to the immediate need for a TV in their room, they inherited ours and tesco got his LCD, HDTV in his room now.